figments of manly imagination

I was thinking about what to give Meygan when I suddenly thought of sex. And sexual desires. But please don't relate this to Meygan, as this will not be about her. It will be about Apollonians.

I have never, of course, seen a girl, a lady woman, in Apollo. Usually, females are only allowed in the spaceports. It's simply blasphemous for females to walk around in Apollo. There is an exemption, and the exemptions are the Nymphs. Why? I don't know. But I have a vague idea as to why. 

Maybe, just maybe, the Nymphs do not exist at all and it is only a product of the very strong and unconscious sexual desire of a man for a woman. The Nymphs are typically sexually attractive young women who entice men. ENTICE. Why would women do that for no apparent reason? I've seen Nymphs come toward hideous men, and yet they don't seem to come to me as often. Maybe it's because I have no idea about sex and I have no idea how to kiss or hold hands and court women. And I never did have such a strong desire for women back in Apollo....my focus tend to shift to a lot of things there, though.
But that ugly guy attracted these Nymphs, because of what? Sexual desires. This is a great reason because they come to Hugo, Luca and Jan Jan a lot.

This is a bit faulty, though.

(Example A) They came toward Cain. He is a robot and I doubt he has sexual desires. But perhaps the Nymphs were curious because it looked like a MAN and they felt completely no vibes.

(Sub A) Zonvelf. He may be a different case to Cain but it is related. The Nymphs were quite suspicious of Zonvelf, but they didn't surround him like Cain. Maybe because Zonvelf is set on Paris?

(Example B) I am creepy and etcetera. This could be the reason why they are intimidated by me.

(Example C) They come to Alfie. But I have no idea how much he knows about sexual desires, and Nymphs are known to like music, which he is particularly excellent at.

Now, I feel a certain amount of sexual desire...( does it really closely cling on love like that?) so maybe I can test it out when we come back for Winter break. Are Nymphs real or just a figment of manly imagination?

So I took Errol's advice

So, now I need to look for a gift. What kind of gift....?

Spitting it out

Reading a certain manga, I seriously started thinking about just spitting it out like that. You know, just saying "I love you" and shit like that just to get it over with. I seriously considered it, and I will probably end up in the same boat as Saki...............................so that really made me stand back.

Also, I think I'm really putting a strong front here. I've always always ignored the thought of "falling in love" or "love" in general, so I gave it a long long long long thought as to why. And the most probable reason it that.........the idea embarrasses me. Simple, isn't it? I mean, love will have to eventually lead to all those mushy stuff, otherwise it will not amount to anything. And I guess it gives me an uneasy feeling, and it humiliates me..........for no conceivable reason.

But it really is such a bother. I don't see why I need to pursue and become a "boyfriend"... shouldn't just merely loving be enough? Or is there actually a rule book about these stuff? Cause I'm contented with just the loving part, even if I won't necessarily be her boyfriend. And it's not because I'm a martyr or masochistic.....I'm just not that greedy about it.

Focusing

I have a hard time focusing when I don't have a certain goal to put my energy to. I can't seem to get my head out of the clouds and I think and fantasize and think.... somehow tiring.